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doggy style PART-2

A 60YR. OLD GUY TO SEXOLOGIST.



OLD GUY: DR. IS UMAR ME MERE LIYE KONSI STYLE SEX KE LIYE BEHTAR HAI?



DR: DOGGY STYLE



OLD GUY: MAANI PICHE SE UPAR CHHAD KE DALNA?



DR: NAHI SIRF SUNGHNA AUR CHHATNA:rofl

July 28, 2007 | 1:07 AM Comments  0 comments

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doggy style

EK KUTTA LAPAK LAPAK KE

KUTTIYA KO CHOD RAHA THA.



PREETO: O JI SUNTE HO ME KE RAHI KI

AAJ RAAT TUM BILKUL AISE HI KARNA.



SANTA: OYE BHENCHOD ISKA MATLAB AAB TU

SADAK PE BHI CHUDVAYEGI:hit

July 28, 2007 | 1:07 AM Comments  0 comments

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Assets of Indian beggers

The baggers of Mumbai



NAME: Massu or Malana, 60

Massu's Assets

Rs 30 lakh in properties alone

Day's earnings Rs 1,000 to 1,500




Begs at:
Lokhandwala. Mostly outside high-end restaurants visited by TV and film stars.

Working hours:
8 pm to 3 am.

Home is:
A one BHK at Amboli in Andheri (west). He owns another 1 BHK nearby.


Massu's 1BHK room at Amboli. Both houses are duplexes
Family: Wife, two sons and a daughter-in- law share the apartment with him.

Day's earnings:
Rs 1000 to 1500.

Assets:
Rs 30 lakh in just properties. One son makes and sells brooms, while the other hawks knick-knacks near Andheri station. He has substantial savings, but would not reveal details.



Cool quotient:
Massu is dressed in spotless clothes when he takes an auto-rickshaw to Lokhandwala every evening. He changes into his beggar attire near Ad Labs. During his working hours, he has a complete sway over the area. You will never find another beggar in his vicinity. He takes an auto on his way home too. Stops at Yashraj Studios for a change of clothes.
NAME: Krishna Kumar Gite, 42

Krishna 's Assets

Rs 5 lakh in properties alone

Day's earnings

Rs 1500 to 2000



Begs at: CP Tank, Charni Road

Working hours: Early morning to late evening

Home is: I BHK apartment at Nallasopara, which he shares with his brother.

Family: Brother, sister-in-law and their children.

Day's earnings: Rs 1500 to 2000.
His worth: The Nallasopara apartment is worth nearly Rs 5 lakh. Krishna claimed he has substantial savings but would not put a figure to it. "My brother manages everything," he said.



Cool quotient:
Claims he can't be bothered with money matters. He retires every evening to his Nallasopara home and hands over the day's earnings to his brother. "My bhabhi and brother know best what to do with the money."
NAME: Bharat Jain, 45

Bharat's Assets

Rs 70 lakh in properties alone

Day's earnings Rs 2000 to 2500




Begs at:
Azad Maidan and Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus.

Working hours:
Early morning to late evening.

Home is:
Two adjacent 1 BHK apartments in Parel, where his family stays. Bharat, however, visits home only once in a week. His family, which deals in school notebooks and other study material, has tried on many occasions to get Bharat to give up begging and join the family business.


Bharat's Parel house where he stays with his family. (right) The Bhandup shop the family has rented out to a juice centre
Family: Wife, two sons -- one studying in class X and the other in class XII -- father and brother.

Day's earnings:
Rs 2000 to 2500.

His worth:
The family apartments are worth close to Rs 60 lakh. The family also has rented out a shop in Bhandup to a juice centre and gets Rs 7,000-a-month in rent. The rent is collected every month by Bharat's wife.



Cool quotient:
Bharat speaks impeccable English. He is soft spoken and you will never find him harassing people for alms.
Name: Haji, 26

Haji's Assets Rs 15 lakh

Day's earnings Rs 1000 to 2000




Begs at:
Deonar and Chembur. Usually begs near mosques and

temples.

Working hours:
Flexi. Picks the best time to be at a temple or a mosque.

Home is:
A room at Cheetah Camp, where his mother and sister run a zari workshop, employing 15 people.

Family:
Mother and sister.

Day's earnings:
Rs 1000 to 2000 .

Earnings increase mani-folds during festivals.

His worth:
The Cheetah Camp room worth anything between Rs 3 and 5 lakh. The zari workshop could be worth 10 lakh. The family earns a steady income from the zari business and his mother has tried every trick to get him to give up begging and join the family business.



Cool quotient:
He says managing the zari workshop is too much

hardwork. "I can't be bothered with all that. I like to be left alone. Also, I make a decent amount every day.

July 27, 2007 | 12:07 PM Comments  0 comments

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love secret's



The First Secret - The Power Of Thought



Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her when you meet her.



The Second Secret - The Power Of Respect



You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect asks yourself, "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself "What do I respect about them?"



The Third Secret - The Power Of Giving



If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.



The Fourth Secret - The Power Of Friendship



To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.



The Fifth Secret - The Power Of Touch



Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.



The Sixth Secret - The Power Of Letting Go



If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life."



The Seventh Secret - The Power Of Communication



When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: "I Love you." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and.. why are you waiting?



The Eighth Secret - The Power Of Commitment



If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.



The Ninth Secret - The Power Of Passion



Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.



The Tenth Secret - The Power Of Trust



Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels wrapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly? " If the answer is "no", think carefully before making a commitment.

July 27, 2007 | 11:07 AM Comments  0 comments

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Customer Care Centre

If Bollywood Film star work for call centers........ Imagine the calls.



Amitabh





Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer care hain...

Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER

Amitabh:
Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko kahoge main laaonga.






Dharmendra





Dharmendra: Thank you for calliiiiingg..

Customer:
I need help

Dharmendra:
main aaraahoon maa.......

Customer:
I am unable to use your product... its waste and worthless

Dharmendra:
Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..

Customer:
What!!! I need your manager

Dharmendra:
(To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi naachna

July 26, 2007 | 10:07 AM Comments  0 comments

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