Due to the way our Hindi was spoken/pronounced by those British then in

India (as examplified in Lagaan!!), see the following self-explanatory:



GANPAT RAI Bihari,(who really needs a job) is being interviewed by a British

Colonel Smith.



Col. Smith: "Haan toh Gaand Fat rahai (Ganpat Rai)!"

Bihari: "Nahi, sir, jyada nahi!"

Col. Smith: "Kya 'jyada nahi' bolta hai, tumhara application me likha hua

hai Gand fat rahai."

Bihari : "Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga."

Col. Smith: "Tum daily marata hai (tum Delhi me rahta hai)?"

Bihari : "Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!"

Col. Smith: "Gand fat rahai, idhar aaoo, kya 'kabhi kabhi' bolta hai?

Tumhara application mein likha hua hai ki tum daily marata hai."

Bihari : "Theek hai mai bap, likha hai to marata honga."

The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever Col.

Smiths' family asks him to do.



Col. Smith: "Gand fatrahai!"

Bihari : "Ji maalik."

Col. Smith: "Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haai."

Bihari : "Hukum Sarkaar!"

Col. Smith: "Tum pehla hamaari beti ko chodenga (drop her off)...baad mein

hamaari biwi ko chodenga...aur uske baad mein hum ko chodenga."

Bihari : "Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumhari biwi aur beti to theek hai, lekin main

aap ko nahi chod sakta."

Col.Smith: "Gand fatrahai! Tum ko hum ko chodnaa padhega."

Bihari : "Nahi sarkaar, aisa zulum naa kare."

Col. Smith: "Gand fatrahai, agar tum hum ko nahi chod sakta to hum tumko

nokri se nikaal denga."

Bihari : "Theek hai, sarkaar ....jo hukum."



After a few days there is no one except Col.Smith's wife at home. She is

alone in her bedroom. While wearing her bra she is unable to 'tie the knot

behind.' So...



Wife: "Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?"

Bihariri : "Ji Maalkin."

Wife: "Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro!" (gaanth maro - tie the

bra knot).

Bihari : "Yeh kya keh rahi hai, Maalkin?"

Wife: "Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai."

Bihari : "Nahi Nahi, Maalkin. Agar maine aisa kiya to hum ko sarkar kacha

kha jayenge."

Wife: "Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamari gaand nahi maari to hum

tumko kacha kha jaayengi."

Bihari : "Theek hai maalkin. Jo hukum."

Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time, starts

like a bull.

Panic stricken the wife tries to turn and shouts: "GAND FATRAHAI, GAND

FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI!"

Bihari: "Memsaab...Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega ne!"