SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears

Useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just

Opening bottles.



KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in

Pairs.



TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and is often over-inflated.



HOT AIR BALLOON --male, because to get it to go anywhere,

You have to light a fire under it . . . And, of course, there's the

Hot air part.



SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable

And retain water.



WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.



SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its

Tongue hanging out.



COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to

Warm up -- because it is an effective reproductive device when

The right buttons are pushed -- because it can wreak havoc when

The wrong buttons are pushed.



ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in,

But you can always see right through them.



SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to

Pick people up.



HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over

The last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.



REMOTE CONTROL -- Definitely female, because it gives men

Pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always

Know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.